THE HISTORY OF 10 YEAR TRANSATLANTIC MYSTERY AND MYTH:It's 2017 and Madame GB2GB sits behind a crystal ball that suspiciously resembles a Tesco Value snow globe. She taps it twice, because that’s what fortune-tellers do in films, and films are always right.
“I see… I see… America and an orange creature emerging from a swamp,” she whispers in terror.
The globe swirls dramatically, even though it’s just glitter and water.
“A great storm of noise. Headlines. Drama. A soundtrack that sounds like someone paid Def Leppard 'full volume.”.
It consumes all it sees for 4 years - then disappears
She leans closer. It's so terrifying she can't speak.
“And now… 9 years on… the United Kingdom has its own version, all teeth and smells of....beer - even more horrible.”
She pauses.
“But not the same version. Oh no. The Mafia Myth says the UK never gets the real thing. We get the theatrical knock-off - only 10 years later does the real thing appear”
She waves her hand over the globe.
“I see someone in a suit walking into a room, banging a table, making a speech, and absolutely nothing happening except a few dramatic headlines and a stern complaint to Ofcom.”
She nods wisely.
“The spirits say: ‘Calm down. It’s just the Poundland remake - but beware what follows - in time’”
She taps the snow globe again.
"10 years, it's always 10 years, the beast comes to the UK after it's been in America for 10 years - ALWAYS, next year 2017 and the orange one is coming - this time to take what Is his.
“And that, my child, is the prophecy of the Mafia Myth: The US gets the blockbuster. The UK gets the BBC adaptation with a smaller budget and more cups of tea”
In 2027 Madame GB2GB will sit behind a crystal ball that now suspiciously resembles a Macy's Gold 'Las Vegas' Tower and tell the orange one "at last you've come', then she dies.
In the same year, 2027, a new Madame appears, Madame Nigella, more 'different' to the previous one, still smells of beer but controlled by a leash, an orange leash - all is 'fantastic - amazing' now.
This is how myths become legends - or is it?
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